I have been very blessed with two very well behaved, kind-hearted, beautiful daughters Gabriela,18 and Madalyn,16. They make being a mom fun and exciting. I am grateful that the girls are best friends and that the three of us are a very tight unit.
Gabi just graduated from high school a few days ago. I have been dealing with a roller-coaster of emotions for I am so very proud of her acceptance in to her first choice of school and excited to see her dreams flourish. I am however a bit emotional at the thought of not having her around the house every day. To no longer know her schedule. To be so disconnected from her daily her life. It’s all so very bittersweet.
I think back to my 17-year-old self and how I couldn’t wait to “leave” and be an adult. To not have to answer to anyone. It’s totally normal for a young adult to want to be free. I think we have all been there. But when you are the parent. Ouch. I not only hurt myself, but my heart hurts for my parents, they are way past that point in their life now, but I think about how they must’ve felt when I moved away. And then when my sister left.
Sure you think about these things as life happens. I recognize that within the next ten years I will more likely be a grandmother than not. I am genuinely excited for the things to come in the future. But that doesn’t make it less heart piercing.
Life is full of so many twists and turns, and I have had many in the last few months. I think emotionally, recognizing that your baby is about to be on their own, there’s not much preparing you can do. A heart feels deeply. And as excited as I am for her adult life to begin, I am equally as sad. Selfishly sad. I will miss her. I will miss being filled in on everything going on in her life. I will miss her messy room. I will miss asking her if she’s ready yet. I will even miss her being late to everything. I will miss waiting up for her. I will miss her smile.
I also have recognized that as hard as it is for me, it’s harder for Madi. Her best friend, her confidant, her travel partner, her co-pilot, the one she’s looked up to since birth isn’t going to be in the adjoining room. She too has so much adjusting going on.
I know am not alone in all of this. I wanted to get my feelings out there and hear yours. Are you going through this? Have you gone through it? Let’s talk about it. I know hearing other stories has helped me feel less alone.